Tuesday, July 24, 2007

...And the next batch of nominees

Away we go. No sooner do we crown one moron, than we have to nominate a few more. Like clockwork.

Today we have three nominees to start with. First, we have Senator Joe Biden. Another in a string of candidates for a lifetime award. Last night, the Dhimmicratic Party had yet another in the endless stream of debates, which are designed to prove to us that the election cycle in this country is too long. In response to a person in Michigan (one who didn't come across as too bright, admittedly) who wondered if his "baby" i.e. his "assault rifle" would be safe under the new administration, Biden replied that the man needs to have his head examined, and said "I don't know if he's mentally qualified to own that gun". And then he turned it into a riff on keeping guns out of the hands of those folks that are "unqualified" to own them.

I'll assume for the sake or argument that the questioner, Jered Townsend, bought the gun legally. He said he did, and went on national TV to do so. Therefore, he would seem to be "qualified" to own it. Except that Biden and his buddies seem to disagree.

But then, I suppose they think I'm "unqualified" to own one as well.

Alienating a large and politically active group right off the mark is always a good move for a politician. So, Biden gets a strong nomination for this week's award, with a move that will come back to bite him if he gets the dhimmicratic nomination.

But of course, he won't.

So let's all say it together: Senator Biden, "WTF were you thinking?"

Hat tip to Eddie. Khaaaaan!!

Now onto our next candidate. Remember A. Whitney Brown? Me neither. I guess he was on Saturday Night Live, sometime during the crappy years.

I know, that doesn't narrow it down too much. Only limits it to the past 20 years or so.

But this comedic genius, who apparently now is in the midst of an exclusive engagement with YouTube, (how pathetic is that, when Hollywood makes movies out of every fifth-rate SNL skit?) posted a video explaining his "support" for the troops:

"Hello, I’m A. Whitney Brown, and I support our brave troops overseas. We all do and we all should. But what about those troops who are not so brave? Perhaps they just signed up hoping for some extra money for college, for the medical insurance, or even some hot gay military sex."


Sorry, it was just too damn funny. Right?

Then there's this gem:

"But do I still support the individual men and women who have given so much to serve their country? No. I think they’re a bunch of idiots. I also think they’re morally retarded. Because they sign a contract that says they will kill whoever you tell me to kill. And that is morally retarded."

Wow. A lecture on morals and ethics now. From a man that presumably doesn't know the difference between someone that straps a bomb onto a small child, and someone who does what he can- even kill someone- to protect that same child. And the dozens of innocent people around him.

And then there's this final excerpt:

"So to sum up, I don’t like our troops, I don’t like what they’re doing, I don’t like their fat, whining families, and yet, I support them. Thank God I live in a free country. Thank You."

So, for being completely ignorant about the world, the US system, reality, morals, and (most especially) humor; A Whitney Whoeverthehellheis gets himself a nomination for this week's "WTF were you thinking?" award.

Hat tip to Little Green Footballs. I'd link it, but I don't see any need to give this A Whitney Asshat any more publicity.

Our final nominee is another football player, this one retired. Even better, it's our second nominee related to the "Michael Vick torturing innocent animals" trial. Over the weekend, Emmitt Smith, the all-time NFL rushing leader, and member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame. Over the course of the weekend, he made the following comments:

"He's the biggest fish in the whole doggone pond so they're putting the squeeze on him to get to everyone else... Now, granted he might have been to a dogfight a time or two . . . but he's not the one you're after, he's just the one whose going to take the fall -- publicly."

Ummm, Emmitt, not quite. First off, as almost anyone can tell you, the Feds don't normally go after the "biggest fish", in order to get the minnows. They do it the other way around. It would appear that they've already gone after the minnows, and I suspect the little guys have already agreed to help get someone. And guess who that Someone is?

Furthermore, check your facts first. It doesn't appear that Vick went to a dogfight "a time or two". It looks like he went to a lot of them. And hosted a lot of them. And gambled a lot of money on them. And spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on dogs and equipment.

Hint: he's the guy with the money, the dogs, the property, the equipment, and the name recognition. That makes him "the biggest fish in the whole doggone pond" alright. But not just among the 4 losers that were charged. I suspect that makes him probably one of the biggest- if not THE biggest- fish in the whole dogfighting universe. (Yuck! Horrible mixed metaphor there).

So this would appear to be the Feds going after the Kingfish. If they get him, they can possibly do a lot of damage to the whole culture, and that's assuming Vick shuts up and takes his hits like a man. If not, he could wind up flipping and giving up a lot of other rednecks that like to torture dogs as well.

At any rate, Emmitt, you blew it. You're completely wrong, and completely ignorant. Rumor has it that making this idiotic comment has already put your new career as a broadcaster in jeopardy. Networks like their staff to think before they make stupid comments, you know.

And so here we have a football legend risking his legacy, and his future, to make a stupid, ignorant comment about a loser who's accused of a disgusting crime. Dude, maybe you should go on tv and dance the next time you want to make an ass out of yourself.

Congratulations, Emmitt Smith. Here's one football fan who's wondering "WTF was he thinking?"

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