Thursday, March 15, 2007

Love sports, Hate athletes

Been an interesting week for any sports fans. No, I'm not talking about the NCAA Tournament- I frankly don't care about basketball. Unless of course my team is playing for the championship. Then I'll watch it and root for them.

No, the issue here is the fact that athletes-especially professional ones- are getting increasingly stupid. Maybe it's just the timing, but in the last few days you can't look at a newspaper or a sports website without seeing additional proof that these jokers are morons.

First there is the story of some pro basketball player. I could look him up and find his name, but frankly he's not worth the effort. Apparently, while riding the bench during a game a few days ago, the TV camera came on him. His response was to look into the camera and say "kids, do drugs."


I'm sure the team that pays his salary and the NBA office went nuts. And they should. I'm sure it was all a joke- cuz doesn't it just make you laugh like a hyena? Maybe someone ought to tell this idiot a few knock-knock jokes. They'd be a helluva lot funnier than that one. I'm hoping that he'll be suspended for a few games, and perhaps a nice fine. Maybe then he'll have time to read a flippin' joke book.

Then we have the Chicago Bear player, that got busted by the local police for something. Well, they raided his house for something, and found lots of illegal guns. And a "bodyguard" who was carrying drugs. But not to worry- the bodyguard got whacked in a nightclub argument a couple nights later.

Guess who was at the club with him?

Oh, and our athletic role model was already on probation for - you guessed it-illegal possession of a firearm. But he doesn't deserve to be in jail, and in fact the mean awful prosecutor is picking on poor little old him.

Next, we have the grandfather of stupid-ass arrogant athletes, none other than pete rose himself. Remember when he was banned for life from Major League Baseball? And he denied betting on baseball, and said he'd be back after a year? Didn't go so well, did it numb-nuts? In his first autobiography (ghost-written of course. I don't know how he can even spell his own name), he continued to deny the allegation.

In his next autobiography, he admitted that he did it, but only occasionally. Now, he just admitted he did it almost every day. But in his arrogant, stupid, self-righteous world, this is a virtue. Why? Because he was betting on his own team. He was just so darn confident in the talents of his players, and his own managing, that he bet on them as a sign of faith.

Well hot damn! Let's repeal the ban now. If only we had known he was doing it not because he's a slimeball, but because he's a great man and a great leader!

Presumably he "thinks" that people will forgive him because his intentions were noble. Realistically, I don't think he has any clue that most people don't give a flying flip about him anymore.

And finally, our prize exhibit. The infamous "Pacman" Jones, star of the Tennessee Titans. At least for the moment. The team apparently wants him gone, because... well, because he's a loaded gun, a dumbass, and a troublemaker. He's the genius who went- excuse me, "allegedly" went- into a strip club in Vegas. While he was "allegedly" there, he "allegedly" threw some $80,000 into the air for the dancers. When one girl got greedy and reached for some of the money, he "allegedly" slammed her face into the stage. Then one of his companions "allegedly" threatened a bouncer. After they were outside, this companion "allegedly" shot a couple people.
No wait, that's a fact.

Then our hero was in a nightclub back in Tennessee, and got into an argument with some guy. The guy pulled a knife on him. Surprisingly, this time he appears to be innocent of any wrong-doing, though I suspect he was talking 16 kinds of smack to the guy.

Mind you, this is all within the last month or so. A slow month for Mr. jones, no? On the other hand, between these two incidents, he also revealed that he'd been arrested twice on felony charges in the past 12 months- a little fact that he neglected to tell the Team or the League, despite being required to do so.

Oh, and last season, if memory serves, he was suspended for spitting in the face of an opponent during a game. Before that, there were..... oh hell, who knows how many other incidents. I believe the total number is up around 12. Not bad for a couple years work, no?

It's at the point where rumor says some people within the Team just want to get rid of him. Unfortunately, they can't dump him for off-field incidents, and he's too talented for anyone to believe any other potential reason. From what I've read, even the Players Association is shaking their collective head and wondering why the prosecutors in this country can't convict somebody like him for anything. The good news is, the majority of the players in the NFL seem to be tired of these jackasses, and apparently are pushing for a real, honest-to-God policy regarding off-field conduct.

I wonder how that idea works for the players that were smuggling cough syrup from California into Texas?