Vogon Poetry

Via Ace today, I found this little piece.  Here is the Messiah answering a question, with no help from his trusty teleprompter.  

The guy's a friggin' moron.  The entire time, he flounders around looking for an intelligent coherent thought.  With no success, of course.

It reminds me of an early scene in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".  Arthur and Ford Prefect have just been captured by the Vogons, and the Vogon captain, after reading some of his poetry, asks them for a critique.

Arthur decides to try and BS his way out of it.  The pair ramble around, trying to finish each other's thoughts, and finally decide that it perfectly encapsulates "whatever it is that the poem is about."

Read this transcript of the Messiah's speech, and tell me that's not what he's reaching towards.  He wants to find a solution to "whatever it is that the question is about".

Here's a Fitting Metaphor

This one pretty much explains where global warming is at today. It's crashed and burned, because of internal flaws.

The only bad news is that we paid for the satellite. Of course, $280 million is nothing, compared to the seven or eight (or nine, or ten) trillion tax dollars the Messiah is gonna be pissing away in the next few years. So what the hell.

Cool video

And now, a little bit of mighty fine a'pickin and a'singin from the Soggy Bottom Boys...

Can We talk?

Really cool image here.  This, folks, is what Teddy Roosevelt meant by "carry a big stick".

Still recall reading once that the overall firepower packed here is comparable to the entirety of WWII.  Everything used by everyone for the entire six years.

I'll be in my bunk.

Thanks to Grouchy Old Cripple for posting this earlier.

Dickhead

Matt Damon thinks that James Bond is an "imperialist".  Me, I think Matt Damon is a dumbass.

But then, I suppose I should bow before his amazing knowledge of all things international.  It's not as if I have a Political Science degree (to go with the History one) and he's... well, some women think he's a hunk.

There's one apple that fell right near the tree

Well this is pretty bizarre.  Who would have guessed that the whole Booth family was nuts?

On the other hand, I recall reading once that one of John Wilkes Booth's brothers saved a man from falling in front of a train.  The man he saved was (predictably, if you like irony), Robert T. Lincoln.  Son of Abraham.

Apparently they exchanged names, but the conversation didn't go too far after that.  Wonder why....

The comments are also fun.  Especially the whiny "I can't believe anyone would use violence" ones, and the "Lincoln was a racist" ones.  Amazing that lib-tards can espouse moral relativism regarding current affairs so strongly, but then expect everyone in history to have had the exact same morals as we do today.

But then, they're idiots.  Go figure.

A Brave New World

So today marks the start of the New Era.  When oceans recede at the command of the Messiah.  Global Warming halts (it already has, since it was all a load of organic fertilizer, but no matter).  Islamic terrorism halts (wanna bet?) and so on.

Or, as somebody put it (it could be me, but I don't think so.  I just don't recall where I read it, but I suspect it was Ace) "Starting today, the world will run on rainbows and unicorn farts."

It's all better now.  Have no fear, the Messiah is here!

UPDATE:  In order to clarify things a bit, I should explain that, thanks to an exclusive GTW source in the Messiah's administration, I know that he is in the basement whipping up his magic potion now.  The potion is comprised of equal parts Rainbow Juice and Unicorn Farts.

World peace, an end to global warming, and the end to the financial crisis should be solved by the end of the week.