The most despicable candidate ever.

Here's one that defines the concept of stupidity. Michael Vick. You're a professional athlete, making millions of dollars on the playing field, and millions more in promotions. Your talents are so amazing, that you're called a "freak".

So what do you do? You get into dog fighting (allegedly). You travel around the country with pit bulls, and gamble on their prowess in "death match" fights against other dogs.

This alone is enough to make you a strong "WTF was he thinking?" candidate. But you have to take things one step farther. As is apparently normal in this heinous, disgusting "sport", you take some of the helpless animals you are training, and hold "test fights" to see if they have what it takes to kill another dog for the amusement of you and your fellow cavemen. And if the dog appears to not be vicious, enough, well.... even with a contract worth over $100 million dollars, you can't afford to feed and shelter dogs that aren't paying their way, ya know? So they have to be gotten rid of.

And not in a normal fashion. No, you have to be more inhumane to the dogs that won't fight for your amusement than you are to the ones that will. According to the indictment against Vick and his cronies, the seven dogs that failed the "test" the last time-April of this year, apparently- were put down by such means as electrocution and (this one alone will reserve Vick and Co. a special placing the lowest pits of Hell), slamming them into the ground over and over until dead.

(Disclaimer: I don't know that Vick himself used this technique, but somebody apparently did, and there's apparently a 25% chance it was him. And either way, it did happen on his property, and with his knowledge.)

Sorry for the description, but people really need to understand what a piece of crap this guy is. Writing this now, even after I've read it several times, I'm still amazed. How disgusting.

So for cruelty to animals above and beyond anything that a normal person can even imagine, I give this piece of dog crap a resounding "WTF were you thinking, you piece of disgusting animal feces?"

Sorry for the tiny bit of editorializing there. But I don't apologise for saying it.

A gold mine of stupidity

Thanks to Ace today, we have a chance to catch up on our exclusive feature, "WTF was he thinking?" for this week. Reading along today, I found three-three as in a trio- of nominees.

So with no further ado, we'll run down the current crop. First off, we have judge Jeffre Cheuvront, in Nebraska. In 2004, a then-33 year old man had sex with 21 year old Tory Bowen. Problem was, she was drunk and passed out. She claims rape, while the defendant, Pamir Safi, claims she consented, but was just so drunk that she doesn't recall it.

Intuitively, not hard to decide which of the two is more believable. Here's a tip for Pamir, who clearly is a stud with the ladies: If she's too drunk to remember anything about it, she's probably not really capable of consenting.

Just a tip from your uncle here.

Now then, here's the problem: This genius was tried once for rape, but the jury couldn't return a verdict. So they got ready for another trial, at which point Judge Jeffre informed Tory she could not use the word "rape" on the witness stand. Similarly, witnesses are banned from using words like "victim", "assailant" and so on.

Can't do that, because they're "prejudicial" to poor old Pamir. As Ace points out, (in a quote from a judge) "The question isn't whether it's prejudicial to your case, it's whether it's unduly prejudicial. Of course it's prejudicial to your case, otherwise it wouldn't even be relevant to the case at all."

So, Judge Jeffre, congratulations: You are the first nominee for this week's award, and I salute you with a great big "WTF was he thinking?"

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Now onto the second nominee, also through Ace. HBO has a new series coming (ahem) this fall. It's called "Tell Me You Love Me"; and the first episode has a woman masturbating her husband, in fully glorious detail (apparently). It's said to be the most hardcore show ever seen on TV (not counting the porn channels).

It's also going to be shown during prime-time.

But no fear, the show is actually about "relationships". And also about "bosoms and things". And the creator, Cynthia Mort pushed it through in part by asking why it's okay to show an onscreen rape (specifically in a show like the Sopranos), but not sex between a married couple.

Needless to say, the Network caved over that one.

So, since there's not that much information about it now, we'll call this nomination a short one and merely ask HBO "WTF were you thinking?"

Oh, and a quick link also, in case the one above doesn't work. The first is from the LA paper, and requires registration.
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And finally, there's this moron. As Ace points out, in a day or two it'll likely be "revealed" that this is "satire". Because everyone knows that to get the best in satirical humor, you head on over to the Huffington Post. He seems to be calling for an overthrow of the "Bush Regime" (remember: Bush stole the 2000 election, and he's the reincarnation of Hitler. If you find yourself doubting either of those facts, refer to the HuffPo for more proof).

This moron, in strict accordance with leftist stupidity, harps on how Bush and his minions are refusing to obey a subpoena from Congress. Oh the horror! Congress demands that Bush provide people to tell them that he illegally fired people that he's legally allowed to fire anytime, and this proves that Bush is planning to throw out the Constitution, outlaw free speech, and imprison everyone that tries to criticize his evil plans.. As soon as he carries out his "next" terror attack, of course.

As I've mentioned before, Bush has no reason to cooperate with Congress on this issue, since he's allowed to do whatever he wants with the Executive Branch. (It's called Separation of Powers. Look it up sometime)

So for his paranoid and stupid ramblings, Eric Malone (whoever the hell he is) gets a big steamy pile of "WTF were you thinking?"

I'll announce the winner later this week.