Vogon Poetry

Via Ace today, I found this little piece.  Here is the Messiah answering a question, with no help from his trusty teleprompter.  

The guy's a friggin' moron.  The entire time, he flounders around looking for an intelligent coherent thought.  With no success, of course.

It reminds me of an early scene in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".  Arthur and Ford Prefect have just been captured by the Vogons, and the Vogon captain, after reading some of his poetry, asks them for a critique.

Arthur decides to try and BS his way out of it.  The pair ramble around, trying to finish each other's thoughts, and finally decide that it perfectly encapsulates "whatever it is that the poem is about."

Read this transcript of the Messiah's speech, and tell me that's not what he's reaching towards.  He wants to find a solution to "whatever it is that the question is about".

Here's a Fitting Metaphor

This one pretty much explains where global warming is at today. It's crashed and burned, because of internal flaws.

The only bad news is that we paid for the satellite. Of course, $280 million is nothing, compared to the seven or eight (or nine, or ten) trillion tax dollars the Messiah is gonna be pissing away in the next few years. So what the hell.

Cool video

And now, a little bit of mighty fine a'pickin and a'singin from the Soggy Bottom Boys...

Can We talk?

Really cool image here.  This, folks, is what Teddy Roosevelt meant by "carry a big stick".

Still recall reading once that the overall firepower packed here is comparable to the entirety of WWII.  Everything used by everyone for the entire six years.

I'll be in my bunk.

Thanks to Grouchy Old Cripple for posting this earlier.

Dickhead

Matt Damon thinks that James Bond is an "imperialist".  Me, I think Matt Damon is a dumbass.

But then, I suppose I should bow before his amazing knowledge of all things international.  It's not as if I have a Political Science degree (to go with the History one) and he's... well, some women think he's a hunk.

There's one apple that fell right near the tree

Well this is pretty bizarre.  Who would have guessed that the whole Booth family was nuts?

On the other hand, I recall reading once that one of John Wilkes Booth's brothers saved a man from falling in front of a train.  The man he saved was (predictably, if you like irony), Robert T. Lincoln.  Son of Abraham.

Apparently they exchanged names, but the conversation didn't go too far after that.  Wonder why....

The comments are also fun.  Especially the whiny "I can't believe anyone would use violence" ones, and the "Lincoln was a racist" ones.  Amazing that lib-tards can espouse moral relativism regarding current affairs so strongly, but then expect everyone in history to have had the exact same morals as we do today.

But then, they're idiots.  Go figure.

A Brave New World

So today marks the start of the New Era.  When oceans recede at the command of the Messiah.  Global Warming halts (it already has, since it was all a load of organic fertilizer, but no matter).  Islamic terrorism halts (wanna bet?) and so on.

Or, as somebody put it (it could be me, but I don't think so.  I just don't recall where I read it, but I suspect it was Ace) "Starting today, the world will run on rainbows and unicorn farts."

It's all better now.  Have no fear, the Messiah is here!

UPDATE:  In order to clarify things a bit, I should explain that, thanks to an exclusive GTW source in the Messiah's administration, I know that he is in the basement whipping up his magic potion now.  The potion is comprised of equal parts Rainbow Juice and Unicorn Farts.

World peace, an end to global warming, and the end to the financial crisis should be solved by the end of the week.

Proper use of history

Every week, preferably on Monday (my day off) I run over to look at the websites of Mark Steyn and Victor Davis Hanson.  I then read all their weekly ruminations in one delicious helping.

Today, in the very last sentence that I read on Dr. Hanson's site, I came across a wonderful bit.  This is the sort of comment that one can make when one is an actual historian, and is able to make analyses, detect historical trends, and so on.  (As opposed to just warning people that So-And-So is a Fascist, when in fact the opposite is true).

So with no further ado:

"...we have no media anymore, only a group of rather elite socializers who believe they play a key role in ensuring social justice by their enlightened ethical commentary.  A successful journalist in DC or New York is instead a social position, analogous to the thousands who lived in 18th-century Versailles, and occasionally were invited to dine with Louis himself."

Change is coming!

Wow.  It looks like the Messiah is bringing real hope and change to Washington already.  Those poor bastards on Wall Street are taking a break from jumping out of windows to go down to D.C. and get a taste of Hopey-change.

Of course, they're all donating money to the Messiah's inauguration in order to do it.  It now appears that the banking industry has collectively ponied up  almost 4 Million bucks so these jackasses can attend the coronation of the Messiah.  More money than even the legal profession and Hollywood.

I'm shocked.  I thought that Wall Street was in the pocket of the Republicans (or vice versa), and that they didn't like his Obamaness.  Presumably the money they gave his campaign was to accomplish something important that would harm him, because they wanted so desperately for him to lose.

Ditto for the money they gave him while he was in the Senate.  The money that the media doesn't mention because it might sound a bit dicey if they inform us that, while the bankers were driving their own companies into the ground, they were donating piles of money to Democrats.  Goes against the Theme, you know.

What a bunch of hypocrites.  And the media is even worse.  They won't mention this, anymore than they mention the other bits of hypocrisy coming from His Worshipfullness.  But some of us will face the scorn of the Acolytes by pointing out that the investors going to rub shoulders with His Gloriousness might have reasons to do so.

About 700 billion reasons.  And counting.

Saving the economy

Well apparently, we're told, the Messiah and his minions are saving the economy already.  Obama junk is selling like the proverbial hotcakes, and helping keep the economy afloat.

By that logic then, I guess that all the pointless bumper stickers touting "Nothing accomplished" and "Bush lied, people died" kept the economy afloat during the Bush years.  So perhaps we should then credit Bush, because his fascistic policies kept these bumper sticker manufacturers afloat.  And thus, the economy kept functioning.

In that spirit, I call on all loyal readers (whoever you are) to do your part to keep the economy functioning.  Buy more stuff, and contribute more money to the government, so that the bankers can keep their huge bonuses!

Visit the Gun-Totin-Wacko store at Cafe Press today!  The economy depends on it!

Hey boys, take a look at this!

Hmmm.  Here's an interesting post.  Via GorillaMask.  Apparently, somebody pulled an "oopsie" and showed some softcore porn on Hamas' TV station.

Or did they....?  Maybe somebody really recognizes how messed up Muslims really are, and wants to show all the 'slammie terrorists what they're really missing.  Cuz I'm willing to bet there aren't any virgins in this crowd.

If you haven't guessed, NSFW.

And for the record, the whole thing could be faked, for all I know.  But I love the concept.

There is a God!

Just a few minutes ago, I realized the two things that I most despise in this world.  Liberals, and Ohio State University.

Probably in that order.

I'm back

Sorry to the mythical people that might be following this blog.  I lost interest, as there's no evidence that anybody ever actually reads what I write here, or cares.  Except for Ed....

So please, if you actually do come by here and read a post, make a comment.  As much as I'd like to make money off this, let's take baby steps.  At least acknowledge my effort.  For now, that's close enough to money....

Or if you're an eccentric millionaire, then drop me a note, and I'll enlighten you as to how you can contribute to the Greater Good.