Vogon Poetry

Via Ace today, I found this little piece.  Here is the Messiah answering a question, with no help from his trusty teleprompter.  

The guy's a friggin' moron.  The entire time, he flounders around looking for an intelligent coherent thought.  With no success, of course.

It reminds me of an early scene in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".  Arthur and Ford Prefect have just been captured by the Vogons, and the Vogon captain, after reading some of his poetry, asks them for a critique.

Arthur decides to try and BS his way out of it.  The pair ramble around, trying to finish each other's thoughts, and finally decide that it perfectly encapsulates "whatever it is that the poem is about."

Read this transcript of the Messiah's speech, and tell me that's not what he's reaching towards.  He wants to find a solution to "whatever it is that the question is about".

A Brave New World

So today marks the start of the New Era.  When oceans recede at the command of the Messiah.  Global Warming halts (it already has, since it was all a load of organic fertilizer, but no matter).  Islamic terrorism halts (wanna bet?) and so on.

Or, as somebody put it (it could be me, but I don't think so.  I just don't recall where I read it, but I suspect it was Ace) "Starting today, the world will run on rainbows and unicorn farts."

It's all better now.  Have no fear, the Messiah is here!

UPDATE:  In order to clarify things a bit, I should explain that, thanks to an exclusive GTW source in the Messiah's administration, I know that he is in the basement whipping up his magic potion now.  The potion is comprised of equal parts Rainbow Juice and Unicorn Farts.

World peace, an end to global warming, and the end to the financial crisis should be solved by the end of the week.

Change is coming!

Wow.  It looks like the Messiah is bringing real hope and change to Washington already.  Those poor bastards on Wall Street are taking a break from jumping out of windows to go down to D.C. and get a taste of Hopey-change.

Of course, they're all donating money to the Messiah's inauguration in order to do it.  It now appears that the banking industry has collectively ponied up  almost 4 Million bucks so these jackasses can attend the coronation of the Messiah.  More money than even the legal profession and Hollywood.

I'm shocked.  I thought that Wall Street was in the pocket of the Republicans (or vice versa), and that they didn't like his Obamaness.  Presumably the money they gave his campaign was to accomplish something important that would harm him, because they wanted so desperately for him to lose.

Ditto for the money they gave him while he was in the Senate.  The money that the media doesn't mention because it might sound a bit dicey if they inform us that, while the bankers were driving their own companies into the ground, they were donating piles of money to Democrats.  Goes against the Theme, you know.

What a bunch of hypocrites.  And the media is even worse.  They won't mention this, anymore than they mention the other bits of hypocrisy coming from His Worshipfullness.  But some of us will face the scorn of the Acolytes by pointing out that the investors going to rub shoulders with His Gloriousness might have reasons to do so.

About 700 billion reasons.  And counting.

Saving the economy

Well apparently, we're told, the Messiah and his minions are saving the economy already.  Obama junk is selling like the proverbial hotcakes, and helping keep the economy afloat.

By that logic then, I guess that all the pointless bumper stickers touting "Nothing accomplished" and "Bush lied, people died" kept the economy afloat during the Bush years.  So perhaps we should then credit Bush, because his fascistic policies kept these bumper sticker manufacturers afloat.  And thus, the economy kept functioning.

In that spirit, I call on all loyal readers (whoever you are) to do your part to keep the economy functioning.  Buy more stuff, and contribute more money to the government, so that the bankers can keep their huge bonuses!

Visit the Gun-Totin-Wacko store at Cafe Press today!  The economy depends on it!

Here's a Toughie

I wonder who they all think will win.  What would have the potential to be really shocking is if they took a vote on who they want to win.  I just bet that they all hope McCain wins.  Right?